Part-2: Cause and Remedy

CAUSES :

Okay, now that I have spoken about the crucial points to check before you approve someone to be your partner, let me throw light on the causes of how a man has fallen into the trap called the so-called society and has been shaped or designed the way he is today. Through my observations, I have mentioned how a man is, but let me explain why he is the way he is. Blaming and judging someone is so easy, but understanding them is difficult and tricky. So, let's do the tricky part. Shall we??

         There is such a massive hype around the word ‘Unconditional’ nowadays. Everybody seems to be talking about how important it is to be unconditional in your life. But do we really know the real meaning of being unconditional and what traits are needed to become one in the right sense? Let me begin by explaining its meaning. The word unconditional means performing acts, duties or chores without any conditions. Whether it's love, support, or surrender, if something's unconditional, it's absolute and not subject to any special terms or conditions. It will happen no matter what else happens. Now that I have learned the lesson of unconditional love, I would like to put forth my observations that will help you grow and evolve.

          Learning the art of doing something unconditionally doesn't happen magically and spontaneously. It takes years to learn how to be unconditional. Learning to be unconditional has to begin in your childhood. But unfortunately, it doesn't. As per my observation, nowadays, kids cannot do anything unconditionally because right from childhood, they are told, “See, if you get an A grade, I will reward you. If you finish your food quickly, you will get your favourite dessert. If you finish your homework quickly, I will allow you to watch your favourite cartoon.” There are countless “IFs” in their lives. So what does this mean? This means they are taught to do business from their childhood. They are taught that you will receive something only if you give. They never learn to do anything unconditionally. To teach them to become unconditional, our approach should be,

E.g., I don't need to entice you with a gift to make you study. It would be best to do it regardless of whether you get anything in return because if you study hard and get good grades, you will get admission into a better college, and that's it!!!

           Nowadays, it's a societal norm to hire help to clean up after our mess, like cleaning up baths, toilets, kitchens, etc, and then we go to the gym to work out. Girls, right from their childhood, are always taught to sacrifice unnecessarily, or in most cases, they simply follow the previous generations like their grand-mom and mom. So when a girl becomes a woman, she automatically gets baked into a mould of compromises and sacrifices and also learns how to clean up after her mess; why? Because one day, she will leave her parent's house to go to her husband’s place, and so she needs to know how to. However, boys don’t learn to clean up after their mess unless you teach them how to. If no outside help is hired, the women in their lives are at their beck and call. First, it’s their mother, then his sister, then his wife, and then his daughter. See, quite often, when you step in and unnecessarily help the boy, you make him dependent, and he doesn’t learn to do things on his own or clean up after his mess.

I remembered an incident Panna shared with me. She had taken a course in Catering as an elective in Grade10. There were a few boys, too, in her group. They had a job of serving food and then cleaning up the dishes. The boys in her group always left the cleaning job to the girls, saying it's your job. Why should we? How did they develop such a mindset? Who instilled this thought in their minds that cleaning the dishes is a woman or a girl thing? Today, people take pride in showing how progressive their thoughts are, and then suddenly, the universe gives a sign to prove how they are carrying a degressive mentality. It was highly unsettling to hear that even today, parents give their sons a superior feeling that household chores are not their thing. So stay away. Guys…this is such a huge issue to resolve. Can you see that?

Let me give you another example. When Parth was in preschool, one of his classmates' mom always bought her son some toy or another, and the reasons were endless. Like today, he didn't bully anybody. Today, he was kind to someone. Today, he learned something new. I frequently saw her car filled with toys that she bought for him to make him happy. One day, I kindly asked her, “Why do you keep buying toys for the lessons he is supposed to learn anyway? This way, he will never do anything unconditionally in his life. Because that's the message you are sending. Just encourage him with a pat on his back, a warm hug, or kind words like how proud you are of him. You are spoiling him by buying stuff he is not even asking for. One day, he will directly say to your face, “I will listen to you only if you buy me a toy.” What will you do then?? She had no answer, but somewhere, I felt she understood my question😊.

          Friends…Please understand that your boys will never learn to do things unconditionally if, every now and then, you step in or give a reward for their work. Yes, I do agree that appreciation helps boost their confidence. But buying stuff every now and then makes them carry a business mindset unnecessarily and in the wrong place. They will never learn how to be unconditional in their life where it is genuinely needed. Learning how to do business becomes absolutely essential where it is required but not where the question of forming relationships, choosing love, rendering support, or surrendering arises, and that's precisely what has happened with them. Today, men are unaware of what being unconditional means. Nobody taught them how to become one. The result is that it's affecting their relationships with their wives, friends, colleagues and whoever they are connecting or forming relationships with. So, let’s delve deeper into the issue of why the situation of men not learning unconditional love arose in the first place. As you can see from the examples given above, the problem lies in their childhood upbringing, it brings me to the stage of imparting a strong message to the parents regarding their kid's upbringing.

REMEDY:

Message for parents: Hello, parents. Today, I feel it's a desperate need of the hour to address the flaring issue of gender differentiation. Earlier, I thought that with a progressive mindset, the differentiation between a girl and a boy must have ended. But it's still making rounds all over the world. My observation divulged that in middle-class families, especially in India, a daughter is a princess only until she becomes a woman. After that, she is loaded with countless responsibilities and chores. A daughter automatically learns to do everything unconditionally because that's how she is raised. In contrast, a son never learns to do so because right from childhood, he is treated exactly the opposite of how a daughter is treated. The royalty treatment changes for the daughter, but it remains the same for the son even after he gets married. And why? Because the daughter leaves their house after marriage, and the son continues to live with them in most cases. And also because he is the one who will be looking after them in their old age.

A humble request to the parents-to-be and who are already embarked on the journey called ‘Parenting, please instill this understanding in your sons that you are not a superior gender. If you think you are, then so is your sister!! Treat both equally. Stop giving a feeling to your daughter that she belongs to an inferior gender. This has to happen right from their childhood. Teach them the importance of equality. You can do this by delegating the household chores equally between them. Make your son understand there is no such thing that only a woman is supposed to do when it comes to household cleaning. Teach him to do the household stuff and let him know that regardless of the help he gets in his life, he should be able to do the household chores and shouldn’t feel bad about doing it or have a superiority complex that I am a boy so it's not my job. Let some woman in the house do it for me. Help him see that today, if you understand and help your mother, then tomorrow you will understand and help your wife, too. Make him understand that he shouldn't feel helpless or lost if he doesn't get help some days. He should be able to do it on his own. It's like learning to cook your favourite dishes. If you like to eat a particular dish, you learn to cook it and not expect the women in your life to cook it for you. Not always 😊.

Also, teach your daughter the importance of Self-love. Teach her to stand up against injustice. Let her know that your brother is not superior to her because he is a male. She shouldn't yield or sacrifice every now and then so that he will get to do things his way. This will teach her not to make unnecessary sacrifices for her husband or any other male in her life when she grows up into a woman. 

Again, when it comes to patience, make your son wait after he asks for a thing. Please don't give it to him immediately. Make him understand the difference between a need and a want. As a parent, provide him with the needs, but when it comes down to his wants, make him earn them. This way, he will learn patience. Teach him to do things unconditionally. Teach him the true meaning of the word “Family.” So when he starts his own, he will know what it means. Let him know, “Family means loving each other unconditionally.” For that, he needs to understand what unconditional means. Teach him the aspects of persistence and perseverance. Let him fail in his duties. Never step in immediately because he cannot do it as “You” want. Let him struggle a bit. Teach him what being resilient means.

Of course, the universe will throw lessons his way, but you do your part in parenting. Teach him what being human means. Teach him how to be kind and humble.

Friends…. Please understand that your kids will learn about kindness and empathy at school, but putting a stopper on gender differentiation needs to happen from their home right from their childhood when their minds are flexible and can be easily moulded in the right way. So be very careful how you are moulding your kids into. Is it someone responsible, kind, caring, and considerate, or is it otherwise? Mould them into someone you will ultimately be so proud of!!

              Another critical point is to Stop forcing or pressurizing your kids to behave however you want. Be their friends. Know when to be a parent and when to be a friend. Provide help only when asked for. Otherwise, it becomes interference. Let them learn from their own experience. Understand that your unnecessary interference in their marriages is not helping them; instead, it's creating more problems. Stop repairing their issues after they are married. Let them forge their path.

           Again, don't choose their partners for them. I want to present an example to explain this point. A few months back, one of my friends buzzed me to ask about my well-being, and I did the same with her. While chatting, she revealed how she got married and got divorced one year after her marriage. The reason she forwarded was “forced sex.” I first asked her, “Dear one, how long did you know the boy”? She answered, “Six months”. So I asked her, “Was six months enough to know somebody or to decide on your life partner? Why did you hurry to get married? Was it your decision or your parents?” She answered, “My parents pressurized me to get married.” I further questioned, “Why did you listen to them if you thought you weren't ready for marriage?” She was answerless.

Okay, now let me explain why I asked her the reason to get married hurriedly. Seven years back, when I was in touch with her, I remember her divulging the messed up relationship between her parents. So what happened was my friend saw a video of her dad having sex with one of his colleagues on his phone. This incident shattered her to the core. It completely ruined her trust in the institution of marriage. I remember her telling me that her dad had asked for her and her mom’s forgiveness, and they both had forgiven him because that's what we are taught to do!!

Forgiving her dad wholeheartedly had helped her patch her relationship with her dad, but did it help her get back the trust that she had lost in the institution of marriage? No… I don't think so!! Because when she got married( an arranged marriage), she was not able to accept it wholeheartedly. See, when you don't accept your relationship with your partner, you cannot devote yourself entirely to it. Again, for a real woman, emotions matter before physical intimacy. So if her partner is not emotionally involved in her, she cannot give herself physically to him, and even if she reluctantly does or is forced to, it will never be wholehearted.

Because of her parents' messed up relationship, the damage that had taken a toll on her soul, mind and body was never healed. With the excess baggage of the unhealed aspect, she wasn't ready for marriage because she was unable to understand what it meant to have physical intimacy with the person you got married to. It was not because you were married but because you loved that person!!

So, after thinking thoroughly, this is what I could come up with- A strong message for both my friend and her parents.

First, let me impart the message to her parents. Why on earth did you force your daughter to get married when your marriage had collapsed and, more importantly, when she was an eyewitness to your broken marriage?? Don't you think you should have allowed that time and space for her to choose her life partner whenever she felt she was ready to have one?? Did you see what your forcing led to?? Are you happy now that she is divorced?? Is this what you wanted?? Please, please wake up and reflect on this most significant mistake of yours that ruined your daughter’s life.

       Now, a message to my friend. My dear friend, please understand that you had the right to choose your partner whenever you thought you were ready. You shouldn't have listened to your parents if you knew you weren't. You should have waited.

Again, remember enjoying physical intimacy after marriage is extremely blissful, and it's your and your partner's right to go through the experience willingly and wholeheartedly. If you are getting a feeling of being forced to give physically to the person you are married to, that's a considerable problem, girl… You felt that way because first, you were not involved in him and why not?? How much did you know him?? Secondly, you were carrying a bruise from the past about sex, which never healed. That's why you were uncomfortable to have sex with him. See, for most men, physical touch comes first. They are unaware of being emotionally involved and all. If your ex-husband still forced you into it, he was absolutely inconsiderate and did not understand why you weren't ready. This also showed you had chosen the wrong person to be your husband. So, from what I can see, you both had a husband and wife relationship but had no love in it. And apparently, where there is no love in a relationship, it is bound to collapse. That's precisely what happened.

     My humble request to all the parents who are desperately waiting to either choose their kid's partners or are forcing them to get married. Please learn from the example mentioned above. Gone is the period when parents decided on their kid's spouses. If your kid wants you to choose their life partner, then it's fine, but not otherwise. Please don't force your choices upon them. As their parent choosing or liking someone is fine, and you can suggest your choices at the right time, but let them decide the right time. You don't decide it for them. You are depriving them of making important decisions in their life. It's simply making them handicapped and dependent on you. It's okay to be scared about “What if they make wrong decisions”? That's why you are there in their life to teach them how to make the right decisions!! Teach them the importance of making the right decisions. Teach them it's okay to make wrong decisions. It's OK to fail. But then you must learn from the experience that a wrong decision has imparted. Discipline needs to happen when they are small. Once they grow up, they need you to understand them and not control them. Let them decide when to get married. Don't expect your kids to get married just because you want to see them getting settled or you want to see your grandchildren.

Earlier, parents played the ‘age’ card. For example, if you marry earlier, everything will happen whenever it is meant to happen, like the birth of your kids and then their education, etc. Yes, I agree, but then, today, you have to see if they are ready to get married. Becoming of marriage age doesn't mean they are ready. Readiness should happen in the form of emotional, physical and financial settlement. For me, emotional settlement is of utmost importance. If they cannot emotionally take care of themselves first, how will they take care of their partner's emotions and then their kid's emotions? And that’s what is happening today. Although people are financially and physically settled, emotionally, they aren't. The example mentioned above portrays an emotional unsettlement in both parties( My friend and her ex-husband who, career-wise was financially settled in the USA but emotion-wise was completely unsettled). Lack of emotional settlement pushes people to enter wrong and abusive relationships, which ultimately end in broken marriages.

Another thing I have noticed is that many parents marry their sons with the thought that once they get married, it will help them settle down and become more mature and responsible. So what your upbringing was not able to achieve, you are putting that responsibility on your daughter-in-law who too is young and trying to figure out things just like your son?? How fair is this?? Stop making such mistakes if you want your kids to live a healthy, happy, contented life full of true love and togetherness.

        Positive Parenting means learning and knowing all the traits you wish to see in your kids. Don't expect them to know if you are entirely unaware of it. Learning should never stop. Keep on learning and then continue passing the knowledge to the next generation. They will do the same with their kids. So make sure the imparted knowledge is helping them grow and is bringing them into the light and not sending them on the path of darkness.

I remembered an excellent quote which says

“Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” — Robert Fulghum.

What more can I say?? Kindly reflect on all the abovementioned issues I have brought to light. Parenting is not a boring chore we are meant to complete or a bumpy rollercoaster ride we are all on. Parenting is a beautiful journey that has to be treaded delicately, experienced deeply and enjoyed wholeheartedly. So let's all try to give our best shot, shall we??

Message for men :

Now that we have seen where the problem lies, and that's our childhood upbringing, let's talk about what we, as full-grown adults, can do to tackle the issues of patience, persistence, perseverance and last but not least, being unconditional. Understand that it will take lots of effort to learn, unlearn and relearn the aspects that are much needed to enjoy a happy, peaceful and contented life. But remember, hard work eventually pays off, so let's start understanding how to repair what needs to be repaired.

Being Unconditional: Friends, let me tell you this today: don’t you think embarking on a journey to learn something new that the previous generations of men could not learn is exciting and amazingly beautiful? Trust me what I am telling you to learn will change your life for the best. So, who is ready for the transformation?? You will need lots and lots of patience to see the transformed “You,” but the results will be worth the wait. I promise 😊.

First, I feel that being patient and loving someone unconditionally go hand in hand. The person who is patient only knows what unconditional love is. Second, he needs to know about persistence and perseverance. So basically, a person with all the traits of patience, perseverance, and persistence can only be unconditional in different ways.

Now that we have seen that most men are impatient let me talk about how you can learn patience.

Today, we live in a digital world where everything is provided to us immediately and instantly into our hands. We have remotes to turn off the TV, fan or A/c. We have stopped doing things we used to do earlier, like walking to the TV to switch it off, walking towards the switchboard to turn the fan on or off. Today, we get online tickets for shows, concerts or even movies, saving us time from standing in line. We have elevators to take us upstairs and downstairs, and we don't use the steps because it's time-consuming and also because it's impossible to climb 40 floors in a skyscraper building. Earlier, when the lights went off, we enjoyed candlelight dinners; I remember doing it in my childhood. We waited for the lights to come. I still do it sometimes when the lights go off. But today, we turn on the generators when the lights go off. And then we go out for candlelight dinners because we don't get to do it at our house. My point is to make everybody see what we have forgotten to notice or simply don't want to notice that these time savers or convenience gadgets have made us impatient to the core. Again, for some, the household help does all the chores, from buying all their necessities to wants. So now tell me, how and where are we learning to wait anywhere anymore?

Trying to do all these things occasionally might help you learn patience. Like, don't turn on the generator immediately. Wait for a while. Light a candle and enjoy your time with your family. Don't you think it's a wonderful opportunity to create memories with your loved ones? See, the universe, too, gives you moments like impromptu candlelight scenarios. So next time, you don't have to go out of the way to arrange one for you and your partner😊. Then, instead of taking an elevator, climb the stairs or instead of buying tickets online, stand in a line. Don't tell others to do minor home chores for you. Like, get me this and get me that. You get up and do it. All these changes in your lifestyle will not just teach you patience but will also help you create happy memories with your family.

       Next in line comes being present in the now moment. To become unconditional, one must be in the present moment, not the past or future. Remember… the ones who always expect to receive from others and not give without receiving in relationships are either regretful about their past or anxious about their future. However, the ones who are happy, at peace, contented, living a regret-free life and carrying zero anxiety tend to give others wholeheartedly and without any expectations. So, how do we learn to be in the present? There are several ways you can practice to be in the present. First, Learn to cook. Cooking teaches you to be in the present. You simply cannot drift in the past or future while cooking; otherwise, you will mess up your dish. Then, you can learn to draw or try your hand at any artwork, and you will understand what being present means. Those who believe in meditating can try it out as well. It definitely makes you more mindful. You can find out what works for you that will help you be in the present.

   Then comes the art of persistence and perseverance. So, how do you persist and persevere in your marriage when the odds are not in your favour or navigate yourself through the turbulent waters of life?

First, let me present my personal experiences to you, and then I will discuss the issues and how to tackle them. My observation divulged that since I started sharing my thoughts in articles through various platforms, many have fallen in love with me. I don’t know if it’s the aura, the energy I carry, or the thoughts. Some are seriously involved in me regardless of their marital status or age. As clarified earlier, I have neither instigated nor encouraged a single man to fall for me. So today, it’s time I asked the ones who have fallen for me ( they know who I am speaking about). Please help me understand the reason you have fallen for me. What has stopped you from persisting in your marital life, or why have you failed to persevere? I have already shown you where the problem lies, and by now, you should know if you are thoroughly reading my article. Now, let me give you some more clarity and remedy so that you can move on with your respective lives happily and wholeheartedly without holding any grudges.

   The reason I could decipher why men are involved in Me is only because they have either made wrong choices in choosing their life partners or there is a complete lack of emotional involvement from either of the partners or both. Let me explain the problem of lack of emotional involvement more elaborately.

Lack of emotional involvement :

Now that we all know men have a natural inclination towards sex rather than emotions, let's talk about how to find ways to help men emote more in better and healthier ways. Today, men are connecting physical attraction to love. If you are physically attracted to someone, that's the ego making you want that person. If you are experiencing love at first sight, it's just plain infatuation and not true love. That's what we call chemistry. But when you emotionally connect with each other's soul,  that's called a soul connection. So apparently, when your souls connect, you naturally tend to help each other grow, which leads to a profound transformation of each other's lives, and that is alchemy!!  Nowadays, nobody is bothered to become emotionally involved. They see money, financial settlement, status and physical compatibility. Nobody checks if their souls are connecting. For that, you need to spend time with each other without touching each other. Today, people are so fast to have sex. Guys… sex is a body need, not a soul need. But when your souls connect, having sex with your partner changes you from the inside out. It heals you to the core. That's why even, despite living a healthy sexual life, many out there feel empty after a certain period. And that's only because there is zero emotional involvement in their relationship.

     So now let me clarify the reasons why men have an intense physical attraction towards women. See, it is natural and understandable for the opposite genders to feel the attraction, but the main reason is something else. My observation divulged that so many out there have unnecessarily immersed themselves in the world of porn. Some even watch it the whole day whenever they have nothing else to do. They are so hooked up to the porn sites as if it has become their duty or kind of a compulsory ritual. Like if they don't watch, they will not survive. Friends… what is so…good about watching porn?? What is it that attracts you to such sites?? Please help me understand!! A few years back, I checked one of the sites to understand why the whole porn thing was so… overrated and why there is such a huge hoopla around it. Let me honestly tell you, I was literally yawning and felt it to be so….boring. I thought it was simply a waste of my time and energy. It seriously neither entertained me nor helped me grow. So then, why?? I have always believed in watching and reading things that help you grow or entertain. If it's not doing either, it becomes pointless to waste your time and energy behind it.

My advice to everybody, especially men who are frequent visitors to such sites, Please stop watching porn!!! You are seriously wasting your precious time and energy. How? Let me explain it to you more elaborately. Umm, there is so much to say…So, where do I start?

Point number 1- Watching to gather knowledge: Guys…if you are watching porn to learn something from it, trust me, you are not learning anything new. At least I didn’t see anything creative or different in the videos. So, according to my knowledge, you observe the videos and then repeat the whole scenario with your partner. What is so great about it?? Basically, you are doing the job of copy-pasting. Remember, watching porn is like an addiction, just like shopping, taking drugs, smoking or drinking. It keeps you hooked endlessly and unnecessarily. It kills your creativity and your originality by numbing your senses. Once you learn to copy-paste, you will never learn to create your own ways of giving pleasure to your partner. Guys… there is no other healing energy as sexual energy. Trust me, having sex with the right partner heals you to the core. But because sex is shown in such a shady way and thanks to the world of porn,😕 it has polluted the mindset of many. It has somehow changed the entire perception of sex because, nowadays, everybody looks at everything as an object. So many….are having it casually, for fun, because they don't have a wife, a girlfriend or a partner, because they feel the attraction towards someone, because they have ample amount of money to throw, because they have ample amount of time to kill or because it boosts their manhood whatever. Many have stopped taking it seriously, and it is creating problems in their lives, either emotionally, physically or spiritually. The more casual approach they are carrying towards sex, the more they are not able to channel it towards healing them and their partner as well. See, when you create your own ways to give pleasure to your partner, you can heal each other to the core. And once you master your sexual energy and learn how to channel it towards high vibrational things like healing and deep bonding, you will no….longer feel the need to cling to such low vibrational sites for either getting pleasure, for entertainment purposes or for learning something new.

Point number 2- Role play is the need of the hour: When you want your partner to perform a specific role while having sex, for, e.g. A master and servant roleplay, and you want your partner to do it because “You” enjoyed watching it on one of the porn sites, you will expect your partner to act it for you wholeheartedly. Let's say you will be the master, and your wife will be the servant. From what I watched, I saw the man who was the master was physically hurting the woman who was the servant. Now tell me, how will this work with your wife, who might not like being hurt even when she knows it’s a role play?? She won't yield wholeheartedly, leaving either you or both disappointed at the end.

My question to you all. First, why do you want to do something where one will hurt the other? No matter even if the hurt is not third-level. Physical hurt is physical hurt, no matter at what level it is. Secondly, if your wife doesn't like this stuff, she won't be able to give herself to such roleplays. Will you be satisfied then? Remember, she is your wife And not your servant!! Thirdly, I have read many articles that state that roleplay helps deepen the bond between a couple. But wait, have you seen if your relationship is already marinated enough to turn into a pickle? Have you got my point? There must be a bond between the couple to enjoy roleplay without the physical hurt, where both receive just pleasure and not pain. Learn to recognize the pain that comes with pleasure and the pain that hurts and damages your mind, body, and soul. Man…there’s a difference. You cannot force roleplay on your partner by dragging them into it unnecessarily, hurting them mindlessly and trying to derive pleasure endlessly when your partner is not at your level of trying different things to get pleasure while having sex.

Point number 3- Let's make a video because memories matter :

Ever since my friend narrated the episode of her watching the video of her dad having sex with his colleague on his phone, I often wondered why someone feels the need to make a video of either them having sex with their partner or watch a video of someone else having sex? If you need someone else to help you arouse, understand that you are not in love with your partner. A couple who is emotionally involved with each other will never feel the need to record a video of them having sex. They know they have each other if they feel the need to have sex. They won't rely on their videos or someone else to get them aroused. They will never need such crutches to feel the physical intimacy towards each other. However, the ones who aren't emotionally involved in their partners will try doing all such stuff to get aroused. Because they know their emotional involvement Is not enough to get them aroused. Then again, they have become slaves of the idea of getting aroused by “watching” either them or others do it and not by “personally doing” it. So once a habit is formed, it becomes difficult to break, can you see? I hope you all are getting my point!!

    So friends all said and explained let me humbly request to you not to watch porn. It's neither helping you grow nor develop a deep loving bond with your partner. To have a genuine, healthy sexual life with your partner, you both need to be emotionally involved in each other. To try different roleplays without physical hurt, you need to be on the same page. Again, rather than hooking yourself up on such nonsense sites that are draining your creativity and unnecessarily keeping you on a low vibration, try reading books like Kamasutra if you seriously want to understand how physical intimacy works. It's an art, you see😊. It will help you grow and catapult you into high-vibrational energies.

Physical strength is what matters:

Today, we see so many men going to the gym to build their physical strength, and it's commendable, but wait, what about building your emotional strength?? You have completely forgotten to check on that aspect!! My observation showed me that a man with a perfect body physique generally had little or zero emotional capability to endure his life's emotional ups and downs. So when some emotional upheaval happens in his life, his whole existence collapses. Ask yourself this question: Why is your perfect physique not able to help you sail smoothly through the turbulent waters of emotions? Why does it throw you completely off the shelf?

So, what do you think? How can you learn to become emotionally strong?? Face the pain in your life. Please don’t run away or ask someone else to address it. See, men have always been runners. Whenever they were told to face pain, they ran. Whenever they had to endure pain, someone( mostly a woman in their life) has endured it for them, or they have either ignored or shoved it under the carpet because that's what society has been telling them: to forget the pain and to chin up because you are a man. A man is not allowed to feel pain because then, according to society, he becomes a coward if he cries and complains. Due to this aspect, men have never learned to face the pain. The results are zero emotional strength. Start embracing the pain in your life wholeheartedly. That's how you will become emotionally strong.

        Persistence and Perseverance is an art. Applying it in your daily life is not an easy job. It's not a chore to be performed but rather a commitment or a healthy promise made to yourself. For that, you must be honest, humble, transparent and authentic in your relationship with your partner.

My humble request to all the men who are feeling the attraction towards me. Please try to rekindle your relationship with your respective wives. Try questioning yourself as to why you are attracted to someone who is not your wife or a girlfriend. Please, please, I am a married woman. Ya Ya, I know nowadays it doesn't matter to many( regardless of their marital status). Who cares if she is married? If I desire a relationship with someone, I want it, right? See if I have helped you become a better person, I volunteered to do so. Not because we have a connection or a future together. Just because you have fallen in love with my thoughts or my personality doesn't mean I should let go of my marriage to be with you because you are either lonely, it's for a social cause, you loved my singing, or you want me in your life for your personal growth. It seriously doesn't make any sense.

Please understand if you are either emotionally or spiritually attracted or involved in me or someone who is a married woman and you too are married or have a girlfriend, check if the attraction is serious or not. If the attraction is serious, something is seriously wrong with your marriage or relationship with your partner. If the attraction is not serious, then something is so…. wrong with you !! Don't you think so you are cheating on your wife or your partner if you are physically with them but emotionally or spiritually with someone else? Please ruminate!! Again, if you are single or divorced and are jumping from one relationship to another only for physical intimacy and are still showing serious interest in a married woman, something is terribly wrong with you. See, it doesn't apply to me because I am a married woman. But it's such a huge red flag for someone who is unmarried or a divorcee and really wishes to be in a relationship with you. Are you all getting my point?

Today, despite you all being in a physical relationship with your wife or your girlfriend, you are still empty from within and hence craving for emotional security from another relationship. Trust me, you wouldn't have fallen for me if you had been emotionally contented and satisfied with your partner. So, its either the emotional, spiritual or the intellectual aspect you crave, because the aspect of physical intimacy is already getting fulfilled through your partner. Now tell me, how can sex be your need, which you are always eager to have even before knowing that person on all levels? (intellectually, spiritually and or emotionally). I hope you have finally got the message that sex can never be a man's need.

So, friends, sit down with your partner and explain about the emptiness in your life. Let her know about it. Be vocal about your unhappines. Make her see how you feel about the frustrations and disappointments you face in your life. Find ways to resolve the emptiness in your life. Marriage is a long-term commitment and a deep loving promise not only made to your partner but it's also made to yourself to be honest, faithful, and transparent in your relationship. Does it make any sense to live in a relationship where you are living for the sake of your kids, society or because 20 or 30 years have passed without loving and caring for each other?? Guys…you genuinely deserve to be loved and cared for by your partner🥹.

Remember, nobody forced you to marry your wife. You loved her, and that's why you married her, right? So go find that love again that connected you as husband and wife for eternity. Find your togetherness if it has been lost somewhere while performing your duties as a son, father, brother, uncle, or whatever. Find the husband in you so you will finally find the wife in your partner, which you have been craving all along. A partner that you truly desire and deserve😊. Today, you all aren't spiritually awake like me and hence feeling lost, and it's absolutely understandable, but I am awake, and I feel it's my duty to help you be on the path of honesty and transparency. I will never let you derail from the path of fidelity. Never….

      Friends…Unconditional love is about acceptance and not about expectations. Once you understand and accept yourself, you will start understanding and accepting others too. If you expect your partner to behave a particular way, do you have the courage to behave similarly, or will you do the same for your partner? The point is, there is nothing wrong in expecting, but it should happen both ways.

As someone said, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach( according to me, it's also through sex). Similarly, the way to a woman’s heart is through her heart itself. It's by getting emotionally involved in her that's it. Get to know the woman you love. A woman is not complicated to understand. She is like an open book. It's just that the man needs to know how to read it!!

If you are seriously craving a connection of deep love and affection from your wife or partner, then you need to be truly unconditional in several ways. So go find out the ways to become unconditional. Remember… there is nothing comparable to honest hard work. All the very best for your future with your wife or your partner!! May you both enjoy long….years of togetherness full of excellent health and happiness 🙏🙏

🎼Pyaar ki raah mein chalna sikh ishka ki chaha mein jalana sikh…🎼

Message for women :

Okay, now that I have given the parents and men a message, who do you think must be next in the line😀. Women, of course !! So tell me, if the main lesson for men to learn is unconditional love, What could be the biggest lesson for women to learn? It’s the exact opposite, guys…It’s “Self-love.” That’s precisely what my whole journey is about. First, to learn it and then teach it to others. Now that I have learned enough to preach, let me help you understand the true meaning of self-love and how to use it in your life. Friends, not every woman’s soul lesson is to learn self-love, but considering how our great-grandmas and grandmas have lived their lives( for whom it is applicable). A life of a doormat with no one to understand what they had to say and how they felt. I thought, let me break the pattern of unnecessary sacrifices and compromises women have been making all way long. So, my dear, beautiful, strong women, are you ready to learn, unlearn and relearn what needs to be learned, unlearned and relearned? Please fasten your seatbelts; it’s going to be a fun ride and, at the same time, terrifically educational.

Now that I have learned unconditional and self-love, let me tell you this today. Self-love is more divine in comparison to unconditional love. How?? Let me explain. From an early age, women have been unconditional because that’s how they have been moulded into. They were never allowed to think and care about them before or after anyone else. Eventually, it became much easier for them to sacrifice and compromise because you don’t need someone else's approval when compromising. You decide to compromise on your own. You never go and ask someone else when you sacrifice. It never happens like, “Hey, should I sacrifice”? There….steps in the Divine Selflove !! Understand that learning self-love and implementing it in our daily lives doesn’t mean making your partner dance on your whims and fancies. It means making him see that your needs and wants are as important as his. Self-love is about caring for yourself first and then caring for your family and friends. That means you must make them listen and understand what you want to say and how you feel about something. I hope you can see the difference between easily yielding to others and making others yield to you. Now that I have explained how important it is in our lives, let me give you examples based on my observations as to how you can practice self-love in your life so that you can attract true love in your life unconditionally.

Point number 1: You are a product of your thoughts: The first step to using self-love is to check the thoughts of the one you are interested in. So when you befriend someone or like someone, don’t immediately jump into a physical relationship. Instead, communicate with him until you feel like okay now you know the person much better. Please get to know him on an intellectual level. Ask questions. Allow him to answer. Check if it resonates with your thoughts, and even if it doesn’t, see if they are not baseless or irrelevant to the topic you are discussing. I have come across so…many who simply put their thoughts only because they want to reply and nothing else. Whatever they say is sometimes so irrelevant that it seriously makes no sense. Know what proper communication means. Know how to communicate along with what to communicate.

Then there are the ‘Breadcrumbers’. So, what is breadcrumbing? Breadcrumbing refers to a form of manipulation— whether intentional or not — involving one person “feigning interest and acting as though they feel sincerely interested and invested in a relationship with another person when they are not.” Learn to recognize the people who do unnecessary sweet talk. Listen to your gut. It will tell you if something feels off. Please keep such breadcrumbers out of your life for good who constantly show that they like or love you when they don’t. Such people always have tricks up their sleeves to keep you in a relationship in which they are not involved in the first place. They will expect you to be there for them in every walk of their life but will always….find excuses not to be there in yours. Their goal is to keep you in their life so they can have someone to either bolster their ego or hear their complaints about everything they feel like complaining.

Then there are some guys whose thoughts are ego-based. If someone likes you, who is richer than you and sends signals or expects you to approach, then know his thoughts are purely ego-based. Let him know that (Bal hari tu chosen one asshil tuzhya ghari😐) no matter if he is rich, wealthy or a chosen one, “he” must make necessary efforts to win your heart if he likes and needs you. Make him see that no matter how rich and famous he is, “YOU” have yet to choose him. Please understand that his love is untrue if he expects “You” to make a move only because he is rich and wealthy. Again, there are some couples who are already in relationships where the girl is not as rich as the boy. So, the boy expects the girl to nurture and strengthen their relationship. Now and then, he expects her to make an effort during their courting period so that their relationship will culminate in marriage. His body language is, “If you want it, you will go for it.” Seriously.… What is this shit? What do you mean by If you want it?? Why?? YOU don’t want it or what ??🤨. See, this is how you understand the person's intentions through his body language. If his body language clearly shows a complete disinterest in you, he genuinely doesn’t love you. The one who sincerely loves you will never display signs of disinterest if he is interested in you. He will go out of the way to win your heart!! Reject all such fake people who are bringing their “status” in a love relationship. Do not tolerate disrespect in any form or energy. Understand respect is a foundation of every relationship. There can be no love without respect. Period.

Learn to recognize who a fake person and who an authentic one is. His thoughts will reveal as to how he is as a person. Please help me understand. How can a person be authentic who pulls the car door of his ex-wife on the day of his divorce only to show the world that he is concerned about her? If you had been so…..concerned about her, your marriage would have survived through thick and thin. How fake one can get 🙄??

Get to know the guy intellectually. Until then, don’t even befriend him. Keep him in the acquaintance zone. You need to feel safe with the thoughts he is carrying. So be very careful with how you are progressing with befriending someone. Once you both are intellectually intimate, progress to emotional intimacy.

As someone said, your thoughts make you who you are. But in my opinion, it's unnecessary that every thought that comes to your mind has to be yours. I am speaking out of my personal experience. One fine day, a horrible thought crossed my mind, and I was like, gheeze man, how nasty the thought was. This is totally not me, so why and how would such a thought come to my mind? I didn’t allow it to sink in for a second. I instantly kicked it out of my mind. No matter how bad the thought is, you must be spiritually awake to recognize it as wrong or not yours. Once you learn to recognize the unwanted thoughts that pop into your mind as not yours, you can kick them out of your system, and that’s how you will automatically start walking on the right path and will be able to mould into the right person who you are meant to be :)

Point number 2: Emotional intimacy. Does it even exist?? Who cares … Financial settlement is everything.

  Choosing a financially settled person is the need of the hour. But can a person making money his priority or running behind money 24/7 be a good choice as a husband? Let me give you a classic example of how a conditioned mindset makes you choose the wrong partner. There is a trend going on in Indian households to glorify how an abroad settled boy, who either the parents or the girl has chosen to be her partner, doesn’t have time for his marriage. You can always hear them glorifying that: OMG, he is so….busy. They further glorify how they wrapped up the marriage in just a week or 15 days(including when he comes, shops and gets married) because the groom didn’t have time. Twenty years later, the girl’s mother opens up her complaint box about how her daughter just sits around and how her husband doesn’t have time for her.  Please help me understand !! How can a person be available for your daughter who doesn’t have time for his marriage because he is too busy earning money? How didn’t you see a red flag here? Please come out of this conditioned mindset of wrapping up your shopping, pre-wedding and wedding ceremonies within hours to show how busy the couple or either of them is !! Why are you ruining your life because of a stupid mindset? What are you trying to prove?? Is it because it makes you feel superior to others that they unnecessarily spend days celebrating the event, whereas we have done something different? For a minute tell your superiorty complex to shut up and ruminate about the need to rush. Please keep all such alliances away who want to finish the wedding in a week or so.(including the groom’s arrival from abroad) Get to know the reason. Friends..., a wedding happens only once. It’s not a ritual or a chore you are running to finish off. Take your time, enjoy every single moment of it, create memories and have fun. How can a person so busy with his finances be emotionally or physically present for you ?? Please choose wisely!!

     We usually come across a conditioned mindset of many to look out for a well-settled prospective groom. And that’s absolutely fine, but wait, are you checking if he is emotionally settled, too? During our Grandparents or parents' generation, the aspect of emotional settlement in the couple was never checked while fixing marriages. Somehow, the marriages survived not because the couple or their parents always made the right decisions in choosing their partners or because their birth charts showed they were meant for each other. In many cases, it survived because the woman made unnecessary sacrifices, compromises and just gave and gave without receiving anything in return. It was only because of her that the couples could see their marriages reaching a milestone of 50 years. But nowadays, regardless of the emotional factor, women are waking up and learning to become assertive. They are learning to receive and say no to unnecessary sacrifices and compromises. So basically, they are learning to balance their masculine energies, whereas a man still struggles with balancing his energies. His feminine side is still weak, so the marriages are toppling down.

Many years ago, I watched an Aamir Khan and Karisma Kapoor starrer Bollywood movie “Raja Hindustani.” The movie spoke about how emotionally unstable a person can be and how careless a woman is while choosing her life partner. Let me tell the story in short. The heroine goes on a vacation with her friends to a tourist destination. She befriends a taxi driver with whom she eventually falls in love, and so does the taxi driver(the hero). Now, the problem is the difference in their financial status because she is Uber-rich, whereas he drives an Uber. When the time comes for her to leave the place, she decides to leave her wealth and settle down happily with him in that small town. They start their happily ever after. After a while, her father misses her and, despite not approving her marriage to a poor Uber driver, visits them. He invites them to his house. Now, it becomes awkward for her husband to visit a wealthy person’s house because he neither has the right kind of clothes to wear nor the etiquette that the rich possess. She does everything to make him comfortable at their place, but her stepmother, who doesn't want her stepdaughter and her husband to be together, makes sure he leaves her for good. According to the stepmother's plan, they both are torn apart. To keep them apart forever, she further weaves a plot of making her husband see that she wants a divorce because their financial status doesn't match, and now she is ashamed to have him as her husband. He doesn't sign the papers but lets her know that he won't be seeing her again. The stepmother does the same with her stepdaughter. She tells her that he wants a divorce. She is shattered and obviously doesn't believe. Somehow, she manages to gather herself and continues living because she is carrying a baby. After a year, the hero learns she has given birth to his baby. So what this chap does is he goes to her house, kidnaps the baby and leaves. Amber alert 🔔 Amber alert 🔔. The heroine, after knowing that her baby has been abducted by her husband, runs to get the baby back from him. When her husband’s relatives question why she asked for a divorce because of a slight misunderstanding, she is completely taken aback. All startled and puzzled, she explains that it was her husband who wanted a divorce. She was carrying a baby and was told to take complete bed rest and, hence, was not able to connect with her husband and also because he had sent the divorce papers. Later, she meets her husband and tries to put sense in him that they both committed mistakes in recognizing each other. Why did they both believe in what others said but didn't believe in their love for each other? Was their love so weak that others could try to break it so easily? Eventually, he realizes his mistake, and they live happily ever after.

So, a couple of thoughts that crossed my mind. First of all, What kind of an emotionally stable person snatches a baby from his mother? How unstable of him to do that !! Secondly, how can a person fall in love with someone in just a week or so while you are travelling? I totally understand you can befriend someone, but falling in love, nope. I mean, how much did you know him? How can a week or ten days be enough to see how a person is nature-wise? Don't you think deciding to marry someone you met for just a week or ten days was ridiculous? Again, how practical was the move to marry someone who was neither financially nor emotionally stable when you hailed from a wealthy family??

Please tell me how this union can be compatible. When the honeymoon phase is over, you start getting a reality check of suddenly being poor. The sudden realization of turning from riches to rags starts getting on your nerves and eventually affects your marriage. There is a saying in Marathi. It goes like “Mulgi dyavi shrimanta kade ani Sun anavi gariba kadachi”. It means Marry your daughter into a wealthy family and bring your daughter-in-law from a family who is not as rich as you. This practical arrangement only existed to help the girl quickly settle into her new home without any financial hassles. Today, this arrangement might not work, but every girl who intends to marry can definitely check if her would-be husband is more financially settled than or equal to her and not just financially settled but emotionally settled too. Please don't unquestioningly marry someone by looking at how financially well-off he is.

I understand it is essential to choose a very well-settled groom for your better future, but are you checking if he is “emotionally stable” too? Emotional stability should be the first thing to check in a person. An emotionally stable man who is always in control of his emotions also knows how to respect others' emotions. See, this is a movie example, but I bet some women hastily jump into committing and then repent on their decisions. Please stop making hasty decisions before committing to someone. Be very careful as to who you are befriending in the first place. Remember, Love is not blind. We are 😊.

Point number 3: Physical intimacy doesn't matter. It's taboo to speak about sex☹️

Today, so many couples encounter sex-related problems just after a few years of their marriage. So, I felt it was necessary to address the issues related to sex. Earlier, women were taught to wait till their wedding to enjoy physical intimacy. But nowadays, it’s become essential to check if you are physically compatible with each other before you get married. Understand if you are emotionally involved in each other; trust me, there won't be problems while having sex after marriage. The couples will have long-lasting physical intimacy. But if the couples are going for a physical relationship devoid of emotional involvement, there are high chances of their marriages toppling down within a couple of years. And that’s precisely what is happening!! Today, sexual incompatibility has become one of the biggest reasons for divorce. Can you answer why??

           I humbly request the women on the threshold of getting married. If your faith, religion, soul, mind or body permits you to have sex before marriage, please do it. As a wife, enjoying conjugal bliss after marriage is your right. Remember, you are the backbone of your relationship. If you are unhappy in any aspect of your life, it drastically affects your marriage and family. Please talk about your sex needs with your partner. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your would-be husband. Experiment with sex to understand what works for you and what doesn’t. Stop yielding to every single intimate act of your partner if it isn’t making you happy. It so happens that the man always finds ways to fulfill his needs. It’s the woman who makes unnecessary sacrifices and surrenders herself physically. Why?? Because if her husband is happy, she will be happy. Understand just because he is forcing you to act in a particular way while having sex doesn’t mean you have to surrender to him and later stay unhappy. Your would-be husband needs to know how to make you not just intellectually and emotionally happy but physically happy, too. If you feel he cannot satisfy you fully, get to know the reason.

Now, those who wait to have sex on their first night will say, “We can always tackle any sex-related problems if it happens in the near future. For that, why experiment before marriage and go against our beliefs? Okay, fine, agreed, but what if he turns out to be impotent or sexually incompatible after marriage? What then??

Our society teaches us the concept of how happiness comes from within. Now tell me, if you are not sexually satisfied, you are not satisfied. Period. How are you going to be happy from within in this issue? Those who blindly follow the society to get the happiness from within may divert their attention by temporarily finding ways to keep their mind and soul happy. But dear ones, what about your body's needs? It will still be unfulfilled right? And it will affect your emotional well-being. So, what will a woman usually do in such a scenario? She will either stay sexually unsatisfied or she will go out to someone else to have sex. Tell me, is having sex with someone else or staying sexually unhappy for the rest of your life a healthy arrangement? Ofcourse, not.....There arises a strong need to check the physical compatibility of your partner before you get married. I hope I have made the point clear !!

Nowadays, many marry before checking the emotional compatibility, so they enjoy marital bliss until the hormones are at work. Once the hormones stop working, so does their relationship, and many then go for a divorce, the reason being physical incompatibility. Have you ever considered why suddenly you have become physically incompatible? The reason must be hidden in you both not being emotionally compatible. But many attach their broken marriages with sex issues. Understand the importance of emotional involvement. Don't be emotionally attached. That's toxic!! Know the difference between attachment and involvement. When you both are emotionally involved in each other, you both work as a team. There is no Me and You. There is always a ‘We’ in such relationships. So, even if any turbulence disrupts your relationship, you can sail smoothly through it.

Remember, having sex before marriage doesn't necessarily mean losing your virginity or going against the beliefs, customs and traditions of your family or society. It’s about securing your future and caring about your happiness in all aspects of your life. Now that we are learning the importance of satisfying our emotional needs along with our financial needs, then why should sex needs be left unattended and treated as meh 🫤 who cares? It’s not that important. I can live without it. If you are sexually unsatisfied, it seriously creates lots of problems in all aspects of your life. So Please wake up from your deep slumber and understand the importance of having sex with the right partner in your life. Stop looking at it as dirty or taboo. I repeat, having sex with the right partner heals you from the inside out. So find that right one, follow the steps I mentioned and have sex. Trust me, it’s going to be tremendously healing🙏

Point number  4: If you learn to earn, you will govern.

    This is a societal norm that if a woman brings in money or supports financially to run the house, she will be acknowledged, appreciated and accepted much better than a housewife or homemaker. Earlier, there was no pressure on women to earn, but nowadays, right from childhood, girls are taught to become financially independent. They are taught if you “Learn to Earn, you will Govern.” You will be in a position to dominate and dictate. You will be highly respected and accepted not just by society but also by your family members if you, too, become a breadwinner. But have any of you thought of those women who are not interested in going out to earn? They might wish to stay home and look after their family, husband, kids, and in-laws. They might want to create a home out of the house because that’s what they have dreamt of, and they don’t want to do the job of multi-tasking(earning money and looking after the house at the same time). So what then?? The women falling under this category of wanting to become a homemaker out of choice are either forced to leave the house because of financial problems their family faces or stay at their house sulking, crying and complaining their whole life. They do go ahead with their soul urge but don’t do it happily and wholeheartedly.

My advice to all these women. If you don't want to go out and work, it's absolutely fine. It is not a hard and fast rule that you must choose to work even if you want to stay at home. If going out and earning money to provide for your family is essential, so is sitting at home and looking after your family. No job is big or small. If a careerwoman is highly acceptable or acknowledged by society, so should be a homemaker. You don't have to juggle between your home and office to show your competency or your art of multitasking and, ultimately, remain unhappy. After all, your happiness matters. Because our society believes that a career woman is more acceptable, approachable, and recognizable by all, don't fall into such traps and ruin your happiness. Be strong enough to stay rooted in what you feel is right.

We are always taught that a woman who brings money is somebody credible, but a woman who doesn't earn money doesn’t have any value. Break free from this rusted mindset and allow yourself the freedom to do what feels right for you. For that, first, you need to find out how you will meet your money needs if you stay at home. Are you interested in a part-time job or a job that allows you to work from home, or do you simply not want to earn money? Know how you want your life to be. Once you recognize your financial needs and wants, choose a partner who will understand them, too, so you won't have to think 100 times before buying a small cosmetic product. Discuss clearly how you expect him to fulfill your needs and wants. He needs to understand your need to be a homemaker. Choose someone who won’t have any problems with the money or your decision not to contribute to the family financially. What’s the point in choosing someone uninterested in earning or who doesn’t want to earn like you? How is this relationship going to work for you? Be practical and choose someone financially settled to care for your money needs. Don't be either so proud or embarrassed to ask near your partner. Please make the necessary arrangements so that you don’t have to ask for money from him every now and then.

Before learning financial independence, learn what emotional independence means. Set yourself emotionally and mentally free from the rusted norms of society. Accept yourself fully. So you will attract someone who, too, will accept you fully. Again, the scenario might be the opposite of what I wrote. A particular woman must be career-oriented, and she doesn’t want to or doesn't have time to enter the kitchen, and that’s fine. How should you choose then? Of course, someone who will take care of your kitchen or see to it that it’s been taken care of. Got my point?? Regardless of what you do in your life, there shouldn’t be any regrets or complaints about the way you have chosen to live your life.

      My beautiful, brave, courageous women, please learn the true meaning of self-love. Please, please learn to stand up for what you feel is right. Feminism doesn’t mean to show that you are a superior gender. The act of feminism means standing up for what you think is right and fighting against injustice. You can always be there for your partner and help him in every aspect of his life, but dear one, not at the cost of your happiness. Also, don't step in every now and then to help and guide him whenever he is standing at a fork. I find it ridiculous when a woman glorifies that her husband cannot do anything without her help( Mazhya shivay tyacha panach halat nahi🙄). There is absolutely nothing worth glorifying in it. Instead, it is incredibly unsettling to understand and beyond comprehension as to why a woman would want to have control over her husband. Just let go of the control. Let him make mistakes. That's how he will grow and evolve. Please know he will never learn to do things on his own if you are unnecessarily spoon-feeding him. Know when to step in and when to step out.

Again, if he is not receptive to receiving your help, he will neither value the help you offer nor the importance of your presence in his life. Stop making unnecessary sacrifices and compromises to make others happy. Your happiness comes first. Stop walking on eggshells. Your happiness doesn't depend on making others happy. No, not always.

Remember, you are a woman first, then a daughter, sister, wife, and mother. As a woman, you deserve to receive wholeheartedly if you want to give your other relationships unconditionally. Learn to keep the woman in you happy first. So when the woman in you is intellectually, emotionally and physically contented, it positively and pleasantly affects all her relationships as a daughter, sister, wife and mother as well. Please don't make hasty decisions to marry someone. It's better to be single than enter a fake and false relationship. If you meet someone who you are serious about, do not rush to commit. Test him left and right. Make him see “Ye dulhan waqt lagayegi”( this bride will take time). Check everything I have mentioned, which needs to be checked according to your needs and wants. At the same time, keep working on yourselves. You will automatically attract the right person whenever you are ready. Understand, a man who is a kid at heart is childlike, and one who is a kid in his head is childish. Remember, a relationship where a man takes efforts to win a woman's heart before he touches her body is an everlasting relationship. So choose someone responsible enough to understand what winning a woman's heart means!! Stop falling for someone not mature enough to care for you. Instead of crying and complaining, MERA NUMBER KAB AYEGA….😥( when will my time come) get up and work towards it. If you don’t care for yourselves, no one else will!!

     So learn to take care of yourselves first, and you will automatically attract someone who will take care of you tenth fold with utmost kindness and compassion in his mind, body and soul. Learn to recognize a person full of ego and arrogance. If a man doesn't wait to satisfy his own physical needs or doesn't wait for anyone else to tell him to eat, drink or have sex, then why does he wait to fulfill your emotional needs? Why does he procrastinate or expect you to take the initiative to push him to express his love for you? This is entirely egoistic and self-absorbed behaviour. Understand, if you are genuinely hungry for food, you don't look if it's “Panchapakwanna”(five-course meal). You savour it instantly, even if it's a humble meal of Dal and Roti. If you are terribly tired, you will immediately fall asleep without music, a pillow or a comforter. Similarly, if someone genuinely loves you, they will not wait for outside help or someone else to give them the desired nudge for what they seriously need and want. Their soul and the universe will guide them only and only if their intention is right. Again, why do you even want to receive from someone who hasn't learned to or doesn't know how to give unconditionally?? Someone truly said, “One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others”

- Bell Hooks

Today, people gift flowers and chocolates to their lovers but forget that all they need in their relationship is these two significant gifts. So if your beloved asks, what should I get for you? Tell him to get Humility and Kindness. It's okay to get chocolates and flowers but remember, chocolates will always be eaten, and flowers will wither. But these gifts of humility and kindness will always stay fresh in your life, spreading the much-desired sweetness and fragrance needed to keep your relationship refreshed and blossoming😊. So please wake up and work hard towards your much desired and deserved happily ever after. Never forget, “When there is a will, there is a way.” I have tried to cover the problematic areas and what your role should be to tackle them. Please reflect on all the points I have mentioned that might help you live a happy and contented Life. Stop wasting your precious time and energy behind the conditioned mindsets and old beliefs of the so-called society. It's seriously not worth nah..not if it expects “You” to bend and yield, which continuously affects your happiness. Nothing, I repeat, nothing should come in between you and your joy. So get up and get going. May success always be with you!!

🎶 kehte the log jo kaabil nahi hai tuu..

            Denge wahi salaamiyaan

Dil thamake jahaan dekhega ek din

            Teri bhie kamiyabiyaan…

Karke dikha kamaal vo

Aake zameen pe, dekejaye aasaman.

            Shabhashiyaan, shabashiyaan….🎶

Message for both men and women :

        Now that I have chitchatted with both men And women separately, let me have a heart-to-heart conversation with both collectively.

Point number 1: Opposite attracts.

We are always taught the concept of opposite attracts, and that's how nature works. A man is attracted to a woman and vice-versa. But it's not necessary that your hobbies or interests also need to be opposite. There has to be something common between both of you. It shouldn't be like one loves staying outside the house and one indoors. How will this relationship work if you two are not meeting or connecting regularly because one is constantly outdoors and the other indoors? Again, if you are a hard-core meat eater and your wife is a vegan or vegetarian, then? What if she doesn't want to cook meat for you or doesn't know how to cook because she has been a vegetarian since her childhood? What then? Either you will force or expect her to cook for you, OR you will never get to enjoy the home-cooked meals cooked by your wife that you love to eat the most. See, at times, you might feel like eating your favourite food made by your wife, right? What then? So basically, you will be suppressing your much-coveted desire if you compromise with a situation that would have been different. How?? If you had chosen a partner who was a hardcore meat eater just like you, it would have given you the happiness and satisfaction of enjoying the food cooked by your wife and her company while eating. I know this is not an issue in wealthy families where there are countless servants to serve you whatever you want to eat. That’s not the point. The point is, regardless of whether you are rich or not so rich, haven't you ever secretly wished or hoped that what if “she” had cooked this for me? Haven't you ever felt like enjoying the food you love the most with your wife because non-vegetarian meals are best enjoyed in the company of someone else? That is my observation:) What if you want to enjoy the food you love the most with your wife? What Then? So, this is going to be an adjustment from your side. Are you willing to make that adjustment? And why? This unnecessary adjustment will either make you not eat at home or always go out with your friends to enjoy your favourite food.

Then, there is an example where a girl might have grown up eating fish because she was born near a coastal village. Does it make any sense for her to choose someone as a husband who takes her to his place after marriage, where there is a shortage or absence of fish? I bet she “will” get a feeling of starvation, although she must be eating four to five meals a day that are entirely devoid of fish.

Then another example where a girl who is a hardcore meat and fish eater, gets married into a family where nobody knows how to cook meat or fish because they all are vegetarian. What will she do then? So whenever she feels like having meat or fish, she has to cook it by herself, even if she has permission to cook it. Don't you think that sometimes she might want to eat the food she loves most cooked by someone else, possibly by her husband, mother-in-law, or the cook? Obviously, why not??

Then, a man who is an absolute foodie marries a woman who doesn't like entering the kitchen. He knows how to cook, but don't you think he might sometimes want his wife to cook for him? Absolutely!!

Then, a woman marries a man who doesn't know the “C” of cooking. What if you get sick or are busy with your work and there is no one else to cook food for you? What then? You will always have to order food from the restaurant and never get home-cooked meals, even when sick. So how do you choose? Marry someone who knows how to cook at least the basic daily meals you two eat. He needn't be a chef. If he is, then you are fortunate😊. But even if he is not, cooking basic food for him won't be an issue. Are you getting my Point??

I completely understand that all these are small things and don’t matter for wealthy families, but they do matter for someone from a middle-class family. In the initial phase, everything looks hunky-dory, but when the couple starts getting a reality check, their “It’s okay, I can, and I will adjust” because I love him or her turns into “I don’t want to or “Why should I adjust.” There begins the end of their happiness☹️

        Friends, please understand that food has always been an integral part of our system. It comes into the category of three crucial basic needs. So, checking your food needs before choosing your partner becomes necessary.  Although someone said, “We don’t live to eat, we eat to live,” we have to accept that we are all foodies, and we love to enjoy our food wholeheartedly if it has the right amount of flavour, spice or sweetness to entice our tastebuds. So when we find the right kind of company to share the happiness of indulging in our favourite food, happiness doubles. Now tell me, how will you choose your partner? Find someone who is an omnivore just like you!! Why do you want to sacrifice unnecessarily? All these small-looking issues become more considerable frustrations and problems 20-30 years down the line that eventually become difficult to resolve. Again, it won't be such a big issue for whom it doesn't matter whether their partner is an omnivore or not. But it might become a big…thing for someone for whom it does!!

There can be other areas like you love to sing and your partner looks at it as noise pollution. Tell me, how will they ever appreciate your singing if they don't understand the “S” of singing? Won't it leave you unsatisfied and disappointed if your life partner does not appreciate and enjoy your beautiful voice? I have tried mentioning a few examples of how you can choose your life partner when such situations arise. You, too, from your side can always try to find or recognize the red spots or the situations that might lead to arguments or disappointments in your married life in the near future. Remember, “Better be safe than sorry”👍

Point number 2: There can never be love where there is fear.

Friends, I remember discussing this long time back that Love and fear cannot coexist; they don't know how to. Unfortunately, my observation has revealed that so many…carry fear in their mind, body and soul when entering a new relationship. The fear or anxiety (which a newly wedded couple carries, and that's absolutely natural) is not about whether everything will be okay or if my married life will be good; it's what if my partner abandons me for someone else. The only reason I could find for carrying such fear is because they married their partners with the wrong intentions. See, I have already guided the women on recognizing if their partner’s intention is genuine or fake. What if the woman’s intention is not correct while choosing her partner? So, I felt it was time to address both with intention-related issues. My dear women, if you don't love your partner truly and unconditionally, you will start getting possessive and feel threatened if your partner even chitchats with some other woman.

You will always be scared to lose him to someone else. I seriously find it so…ridiculous that someone should feel threatened or abandoned when the love between them is genuine. Please understand that your partner is not a thing that someone else will just steal or put him in her bag and walk away. If you hurriedly married your partner because you were afraid to lose him, know you made a terrible mistake!! Ask yourself this question. Why were you scared to lose him? Why this feeling in the first place that he will abandon you for someone else? If you had genuinely loved him, you would never have felt afraid to lose him. Remember, your soul sees everything, hence the feeling of anxiety. Your soul knows you didn’t enter into a relationship because you loved that person emotionally. You wanted that person because it was your ego to have him or for the best reason known to you and God. All such relationships will topple down if they are not formed out of love. Because even your partner’s soul sees everything, and if he senses you didn't marry because you loved him, he will walk out of the relationship, no matter how hard you try to keep him in that relationship. Again, the whole scenario may happen with the man feeling threatened or abandoned.

My advice to you is to please clear your intentions, sit with your partner, and have a heart-to-heart conversation.

A few months back, I watched an episode from the Kapil Sharma show where a woman in the audience started narrating her experience of how her husband got involved with someone else. So, what happened was that the woman opened a Facebook account as someone else and sent a friend request to her husband. Her husband added her back and, for months, continued to chat with her. A day came when he looked keen on meeting her. So he gathered the courage to let her know that he was finally ready to meet her. There was no other way left for the woman to let her husband know that it was her who was chatting with him all way long. When her husband realized that it was only his wife, he went into depression for two months.

So, friends, what message do you extract from the example? We could see that getting in touch with what was happening in her husband’s inner world this way was much easier than communicating. See, if you felt him distancing from you, you could have straight away confronted him by having a heart-to-heart conversation, right? Again, there was a fear that he might not open up in front of her if she confronted him. Sometimes, I find this so funny that couples don't open up as to how they feel wholeheartedly in front of each other, and then, when their marriage comes on the verge of collapsing, they go to a marriage counsellor or a psychologist and unleash everything in front of them that must have been trapped for many…years. Understand, if you had confided your feelings and emotions with your partner, your marriage would not have reached a point of no return, and then there would have been no need for you to go out and open up in front of an outsider. It's absolutely ridiculous that today, people are more comfortable talking about their confidential and personal matters not in front of their partners, family or friends but in front of an absolute stranger.

Please understand, a wholesome, hearty discussion is incomparable when it comes to resolving an issue. Start afresh. Apologize to him or her and yourself for making the decision hastily. Work through your insecurities and then see the difference.

         Always remember that a decision made out of fear and insecurity or with wrong intentions and an unhealthy mindset will never…take you towards your destination, the one you desire and deserve. Marriage is not an institution to fulfil your ego. It’s a deep, unconditional bond and lifelong commitment made to the person you love and not some material thing you would love to possess because you want to flaunt and flex in front of the world. I hope you are getting my point.

Point number 3: Kids help strengthen your marital bond.

This is a conditioned mindset of society: If you are having issues settling down with your husband or wife, have kids. If either of them is not finding time to bond with the other or is drifting apart from each other, have kids. If you both are done enjoying your life and simply don’t know what to do, have kids🫤. No matter the problem, society always pushes you to have kids. It’s somehow become a sure-shot remedy for all marital problems that young couples might encounter. So apparently, many couples yield or mindlessly follow society without considering if it is ruining their and their kids' lives.

In the previous point, I spoke about how a man or a woman makes the mistake of marrying their respective partners despite carrying the fear of abandonment. As if that's not enough, they make the second mistake of having babies. Guys… please help me understand how your kids can salvage your marriage, which is already on the rocks. How can they help you make your partner stay in the marriage for you? Understand, even if your partner stays with you for the sake of your kids, would you like this fake arrangement that he or she is staying with you for the sake of your kids and not because he or she loves you? See, for a while, you both will be fine, and you will even feel how the kid has brought you closer because you will be busy raising them when they are small. But you will be back to square one and again start feeling abandoned once they grow up and get busy with their lives. Suddenly, all your insecurities will crop up, leaving you disappointed, frustrated, disheartened and lonely for your entire life. What are you going to do then? So now, please tell me how having kids served the purpose of helping you strengthen your bond with your partner.

          Nowadays, there are so many amber alerts happening. Why? Because two people made wrong decisions when choosing their life partners. Either the mother or the father is abducting their kid at such a tender age because they are not satisfied with the court decision. They are unnecessarily ruining not just their lives but their kid's lives, too. So tell me why abduction is needed in the first place? You both loved each other and, hence, gave birth to your kids, right? Then why did either of you feel the need to put the other into such a painful situation of snatching your kid from the other parent? Have you ever thought about how your kid must be feeling when such abductions happen? What must be going on in their minds? Has anybody thought about it? Nobody is bothered because we are just interested in living our own lives. Today, estranged couples are like, who cares if we have created a mess by marrying each other even though we weren't emotionally involved? Let our kids bear the consequences. Please, please, for heaven's sake, stop ruining your kid's lives because of your insecurities and unresolved problems. Don't even consider getting married if you have unresolved issues. Even if you get married, please don't go for the kids. Stop cornering your kids by expecting them to salvage your marriage or snatch them away from one of the parents.

Guys… it's your job as a couple to resolve the red spots in your relationship. Why should you expect “Your kids” to hold the fort for you? Did you decide to have them because you really craved a baby or, because you were scared to lose your partner or for some XYZ-conditioned mindset? There is a vast difference in the thought process. Zameen Aasmaan ka farak hai boss!! Nobody, I repeat, nobody should be allowed to suffer or bear the consequences of your wrong decisions, obviously not your kids. Remember, they were a symbol of your love(they should be)  and not your hatred. Then why feed hatred in their mind, body and soul just because you two are no longer together or don't want to be together? Please give a serious thought to this flaring issue. Hopefully, one day, we all will find solutions to our problems without hurting our kids, and that too at such a tender age. Keeping my fingers crossed🤞🏽

               Our Society always guides us to find a “Golden Middle” or “Meet in the Middle” remedy whenever a problem arises in a relationship. But for that, you need to know what “meeting in the middle” means and when and how to use it so that both can benefit from the decision.

Also, not every time it will work. In the first point of “Opposite attracts,” tell me how this meeting in the middle concept will work if you are a voracious meat eater and your wife doesn't enjoy eating meat. Instead, it makes her nauseous. Are you going to force her to eat meat, cook for you, or are you going to become an herbivore? If you are going to force her to eat meat, then you are making “her” entirely walk towards You. If you become an herbivore to make her happy, “You” will walk entirely towards her. So where is this meeting in the middle happening😊? Just because society has the habit of continuously feeding stuff into our minds, you don't have to adhere to that stuff. Make a wise decision that will make both of you happy. That's how you meet in the middle!!

Please learn when to use self-love and unconditional love. Just because it's your path to use unconditional or self-love doesn't mean you have to constantly apply it without checking whether the situation wants you to apply it. I mean, it depends on the problem and how it expects you to respond. Again, you should have a strong reason if you behave the opposite of your path.

I want to present classic examples of two Bollywood movies to show how people are lost and confused and don't know what self-love or unconditional means and how and when to use it in their lives.

Years back, I watched a Raj Kapoor, Rajendra Kumar and Vyjayanthimala starrer movie, “Sangam.” The whole film was utterly ridiculous and clearly showed how the conditioned mindset of a society works. Rajendra Kumar and Vyjayanthimala are in love with each other. Raj Kapoor, a childhood friend of theirs, also falls in love with her and tells Rajendra Kumar that he has fallen for her. He doesn't know that they both are already in a relationship. So, when Raj Kapoor expresses his emotions about Vyjayanthimala near Rajendra Kumar, the latter, without caring about his relationship with the heroine, decides to sacrifice his love and happily allows his friend to marry his lady love. As if the hero doesn't leave any space to be ridiculous, the heroine also goes ahead and shows how she can jump on the bandwagon of being utterly silly. She, too, proves to everybody how she doesn't have a say or any self-esteem, that her beloved is allowing someone else to take her away from him so easily and conveniently, and more importantly, she is readily allowing him to. How? And why would someone yield to such stupidity? And at what cost? At the cost of your happiness? No…..☹️. Are you a material thing your partner will donate or allow someone else to walk away with so easily? This is not how unconditional love works!! If the heroine had learned to use her self-love, she would have rejected both and walked out of their lives. But she chooses to ruin her life and settles down with someone she doesn't love. And why not? We are always taught that love before marriage is infatuation and that after marriage is the real deal, right? Everything was so…unsettling, and why the need to show this unnecessary huge..sacrifice? Only to show how big your heart is or because you want to see your friend happy. But wait, what about your happiness? How can this be True Love? Please stop allowing such nonsense to happen only because you are hell-bent on proving how unconditional you are!!

Then another example is Jackie Shroff, Amrita Singh and Juhi Chawla starrer movie “Aaina.” Jackie Shroff (hero) and Amrita Singh (heroine) are in love with each other. The hero is a businessman, whereas the heroine is shown as a budding artist in the entertainment industry. Then Juhi Chawla is shown as her younger sister, who happens to secretly love the hero because she is entirely unaware of their relationship. The hero and heroine eventually decide to get married. On the day of their Marriage, the heroine leaves the house to pursue her career and leaves a letter explaining how her job is more important than her wedding. How the wedding can wait, but the opportunities that have knocked on her door can't.

Now, the hero, without giving it a second thought, decides to marry her younger sister. In the movie, the whole blame is put on the heroine for abandoning her fiance on the day of their Marriage. Why not? We live in a patriarchal society, so blame the woman. I do agree that it was the heroine’s mistake not to confide with her would-be husband about her future decisions. She could have made him sit before her and would have had a heart-to-heart conversation. She doesn't feel it necessary and, instead, prioritizes her work and runs away. But then, don't you think the hero, too, commits a mistake of marrying the heroine’s sister because of ego, whom he doesn't know or doesn't love?

If he had truly loved his fiance, he would have waited for her to return and never had married someone else. This is not how self-love works!! So basically, both are shown running away from the problem by finding an easy escape route, thus leaving both disappointed and disheartened.

Now arrives the moment of their first night when the hero walks into his bedroom only to see his bride, not in her ‘shadi ka joda’(bridal wear) but in regular clothes, which leaves him puzzled. The sister, now let's call “her,” the heroine, has to explain how she has always used her elder sister’s hand-me-down things. She prefers to hide the emotions that she carries for him but makes it a point to clarify that just because she readily agreed to have her elder sister’s hand-me-down things her whole life, it is absolutely not okay to have her sister’s hand-me-down lover as her husband and hence needs some time to realize that they both are now married. (Although she loves him, she doesn't want him this way only because her elder sister abandoned him. That is not fair, right? And also because she wants him to fall in love with her like she does. So, finally, someone has got self-esteem here 😊.)

Now tell me, if the sister had given herself physically to him because she secretly loved him and also because it was her right to enjoy marital bliss, he would have gone for it. I mean, seriously??? No wonder both the hero And his ex-heroine were never emotionally involved with each other. That’s why they could easily walk out of their relationship, where the woman took her love for granted, and the man, too, quickly moved on without waiting for her to return. What kind of true love is this??

Today, after exploring numerous reel-life scenarios from the movies and real-life situations through observation, I have unearthed that if you are making your partner entirely walk towards you, if you are taking two steps towards your partner and your partner four steps back or if you are trying to break the wall and your partner Is continuously putting two bricks, IT IS NOT TRUE LOVE.

Friends, have you ever noticed something about how men govern the solar plexus and the sacral chakra and women govern the heart and throat chakra? What does this mean? This means they both are dominant in these body parts. Just like I mentioned earlier, for men, mostly being assertive(solar plexus)and sex(sacral) is important; for women, it is conversing(throat chakra) and emotions(heart chakra). Both must learn to work on their weak areas to live a balanced, healthy, and happy life. For men, they need to learn how to converse and emote more often and for women, they need to be more assertive and work through their sexual needs without being afraid of society. Balancing your masculine and feminine energies will help you strengthen your bond at all levels of intimacy. So when you both achieve a seamless balance at all levels of intimacy, you become “spiritually intimate.” Spiritual intimacy is the highest level of intimacy and the most beautiful and divine one. It is the one where your souls connect at a deeper level. The spiritually intimate ones have a strong sense of belonging to each other. They have a strong trust in each other. They have a mutual admiration and mutual understanding for each other. They have shared goals to achieve. They enjoy a solid intellectual, emotional and physical connection. They experience a more remarkable ability to navigate through challenges. Attaining spiritual intimacy is not an easy path. But if you take the right kind of effort in the right direction with humility, kindness, patience, perseverance and persistence, you can see yourself reaching the divine level, a well-deserved destination where you will be ready to embrace your beloved lovingly with open arms 🤗.

🎶Izhaar Hua Humein Bhi Pyaar Hua

Mulakaat Ki Hai Ghadi Ab

Aayi Aayi Aayi Aayi

Tujhe Mere Liye

Mujhe Tere Liye

Hai Banaya Gaya Oh Harjai

Aayi Aayi Aayi🎶

        What more can I write? Please prioritize your needs. Choose something that will give you permanent happiness, not the one that gives you temporary happiness, like money and sex. Cater to your soul's needs, and you will live happily ever after for sure!!

I am not saying there won't be any disappointments, but when you are strongly bonded with your soul, trust me, it will help you overcome every single difficulty that might crop up in your married life, which will ultimately give you the strength to walk in the face of adversity.

Kehte hain, "Subah ka bhula sham ko ghar aaye toh use bhula nahi kehte". Lekin woh agar galat iraade se ya galat soch lekar aaye toh woh bhula hi hain :). So please.... check your intention before you perform any kind of smallest chore or job in your life. The intention factor is the biggest culprit in most scenarios. If you think you have fallen in love, check the first thought that pops into your mind when you think about that person. Whether it is connected with your mind, body, or soul needs. If the thought is connected with your mind or body's needs, do not marry that person. The reason is because you want that person either to pamper your ego or to have sex. But if the thought is connected with your soul's needs, know “You have met your Soulmate!!”

       Again, if you are starting your life with such a mindset that marriage is a gamble, then it will be a gamble or “Shadi ek ladoo hai, jo khaye woh pachataye, jo na khaye woh bhi pachataye," toh chalo khakehi pachatate hain. Phir toh jaroor pachtawa hoga. Marriage is not some sweet meat you want to try. If you like it, you will continue eating it; if you won't, you will stop eating or opt for another sweet. Marriage is a destination you reach or an experience you luxuriate in with inner sweetness. A sweetness in your soul, mind and body and not the sweetness connected with external factors like flowers, chocolates or anything that reminds you of it.

Stop taking your marriage for granted.  Please understand marriage is not a gamble but a long-lasting bond of togetherness only if you choose the right partner. If you don't choose wisely, it will always feel like a gamble, and then you will continue to blame yourself for completely losing yourself to others, not lovingly but in the wrong way. If you genuinely believe in the institution of marriage, please be very clear about why you are getting married. It shouldn't be like your thoughts about marriage are contradicting your actions. Please don't ruin your partner's life if you are unsure why you are getting married.

Today, people are calling me a b**** only because they are getting triggered by what I write and why because I am helping them come out of their darkness. Dear ones, please understand that calling me a b**** isn't going to pull you out of your darkness and help you see the light 😊. I am merely a beacon trying to show you the way through your darkness so you can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Please reflect and contemplate on what I am trying to convey🙏🙏. I repeat, I can only guide you towards the light. The walking needs to be done by you. Understand it's so easy for someone else to keep the household garbage outside your house for you. But when it comes to emotional garbage, it's you and only you who must clear it that's been sitting in your whole system and rotting your entire mind, body and soul.

            I am not a movie critic to judge or write movie reviews. I want all of you to reflect on and understand the points I am trying to put forth. Again, whatever real-life scenarios I have mentioned is not to fingerprint or blame those people. I genuinely don't have anything against them. Trust me, I have pinpointed only to show them where they have committed a mistake and how they could have done better. Guys… you definitely can do better!! A humble request to everybody who is reading my article. Kindly learn from all the reel-life and real-life examples I have tried to explain. Don't commit the same mistakes. See, we are all here to be the best version of ourselves. We all can try. So wake up!!! I honestly can't see you living an unhealthy and fake life full of jealousy and insecurities😞. Hence, trying to put some sense so that you can also try living a compassionate life filled with authenticity, honesty, loyalty, transparency, humility and kindness.

Nowadays, people are using others, playing with their emotions and showcasing fake love as true love, as if it is a thing. True love is not a thing you use or buy because it's on sale. It is priceless. Rather, it's an emotion to be felt that can never be faked. It needs to come from within. If you genuinely want to find true love, you need to become a genuine person first. If you aren't authentic and pure at heart, how will you notice the authenticity and purity of others?

         As someone said, “Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with a light of faith, water of sincerity and an earth of passion !!!”

       True Love experience opens your heart forever; if the experience closed your heart just because it was aching, that means it was never true love but was an idea of love you lived in. Our heart knows & allows what is the truth & brings in what is in true alignment.

• Dr. Kristna Saikia

Dear ones, I have tried putting my heart and soul into this article. May it act as a beacon to help you make a conscious decision in forming a conscious relationship. Let's all choose wisely so we all can find our

Thank you for reading and understanding what I wanted to say and how I felt about True Love. It really means a lot to me🙏 Thank you so much!! Thank you divine🙏